Sheamus‘s music hits and he comes out with a mic too. Sheamus delivers the basic Sheamus promo. State something obvious, pander to the crowd. Cody Rhodes tries to impersonate Sheamus (emphasis on “tries”), and says that he will not face Sheamus until Booker comes out. That leads to Sheamus doing a Booker T impression. He then goes on to impersonate Vickie Guerrero. I think we can rule out impersonator as a post-WWE career option for Sheamus. A few words later, and Sheamus does a Vince McMahon impression as well, which is terrible. Cody Rhodes attacks, but Sheamus, of course, throws him out of the ring as we go to break.
We return from the break to see the match in progress. The match starts off slow, with the two men keeping grounded on the mat. Sheamus picks up the pace a little with some shoulder blocks, but Cody Rhodes exits the ring. Cody Rhodes gets back into the ring and sends Sheamus into the corner, but loses control after Sheamus hits a sidewalk slam. Match is pretty damn slow so far. That’s usually how it works with Sheamus. Sheamus continues to stay in slow (very, very slow) control, with Cody Rhodes getting absolutely no offence in.
After we come back from a commercial break, Cody Rhodes finally gets a few moves in after throwing Sheamus into the ring post. Sheamus tries to get back in control, but Rhodes neutralizes him with a devastating looking knee. Sheamus finally regains control after catching Rhodes with an Irish Curse backbreaker, and begins to hit his five moves of doom. Sheamus goes to the top rope, but Cody Rhodes hit him with another knee, causing him to fall onto the mat. Cody Rhodes sets Sheamus up for the Cross Rhodes, but Sheamus rolls out of it and hits Rhodes with the White Noise and follows it up with a Brogue Kick for the win. Match could’ve been a lot better, as it lacked any back and forth. These guys have worked well together before, so it was kind of surprising to see such a slow match from them. The announce booth says the we will be back with Sandow vs. Bryan, which may mark the first time on Main Event when the main event was the actual main event. Should be an awesome match. Beard vs. Beard.
We return from the break to see Sandow make his entrance, holding a microphone in his hand. He cuts a promo about how his best friend Cody Rhodes should be in the Elimination Chamber match. I find it odd that they are still having Sandow and Rhodes be best friends after they split as a team. Sandow says he will avenge the injustice bequeathed on his partner by defeating his “arch-nemesis”, Daniel Bryan. After Sandow literally summons Daniel Bryan, Bryan comes out and the match starts off immediately with some very fast action.
The two trade offence at an extremely fast pace, with Bryan hitting all his signature moves within the first minute. After Bryan pretty much takes complete control of Sandow, Kane‘s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. Sandow rolls Bryan up from the distraction, but is unsuccessful in pinning him. Bryan tells Kane to leave, but Kane summons fire from the ring posts. allowing Sandow to hit his finisher and win. Extremely interested to see what they are going to do with Bryan and Kane for WrestleMania. Lot of time left, so I assume that this match wasn’t actually the main event. Sigh.
We go backstage to see Brodus Clay around food (where else would he be?). Aksana and Tamina approach him and start to flirt with Clay, but the Funkadactyls intervene, which leads to the Divas Tag Team match main event (yes, you heard that right), being set up. Wonderful. At least they are trying to bring up a few more Divas, as the only active Diva seems to be Kaitlyn. After a long Raw re-cap, the Funkadactyls come out for what should be an extremely exciting and riveting match.
Aksana and Tamina attack them before they can get into the ring. We come back from an awkwardly timed commercial break for the match start. Tamina and Cameron trade some pretty good offence, although a botched bulldog messed things up a bit. Tamina takes control of Alicia Fox, and Melina’s biggest fan, and tags in Aksana, who is wearing an extremely plain and generic black suit. The Funkadactyls get things back in their favour after Naomi gets tagged in. Naomi is actually one of the most impressive Divas on the roster, and it’s a shame she’s stuck dancing for Brodus Clay. After a cross-body and a calf kick, Naomi picks up the win for her team. Pretty good match. Naomi impressed the most, with Cameron showing some potential early on. Hopefully Naomi can go off on her own some day.
Decent show. It started off VERY slow with Sheamus vs. Rhodes, but things picked up with Bryan vs. Sandow, as it had a really quick pace and furthered the Team Hell No angle. The Divas match was surprisingly good too, but it probably shouldn’t have ended the show. As usual, you can follow me on Twitter where I blatantly steal people’s jokes and claim I made them up.
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